Heavy Plant

Walk past a "Heavy Plant" warning and wonder vaguely if the trees thought it was for them; if whoever put it up had enough imag...


Dodo, dodo, internet that dies!

If you were a brand consultant what might you tell a client that came to you with the idea of naming their service after an extinct flightless bird?

"You got here just in time! Sit down and we'll think of something better in even just the first five minutes of the meeting."


But no your client is in a dizzying frenzy of marketing fervour believing themselves an absolute genius.

"No, no," they might say, "we've had so many good ideas around this. We've got an ad campaign with a REALLY annoying jingle and a brand mascot that looks nothing like a Dodo. We're going to hire people to wear a fuzzy suit that makes them look a bit like a very misshapen version of the mascot and harass people about broadband connections on their way to work, where they have a fast connection all day! It's going to be brilliant!"

I know what I would say at that point:
"Get out of my office you cretin! People will think you hired me and my name will be forever besmirched with your idiocy!

Why are you here anyway exactly...?"
I don't know what Dodo Internet are thinking with that as a strategy. I can't speak as to the quality or consistency of their service as I was so thoroughly put off by their brand identity that I wont be going within 15 feet of their mascot and wouldn't be caught dead using them as an ISP.


  1. Were I their brand consultant I should immediately advise them to change their name to 'Ostrich' and to adopt as a logo a picture of that bird with its head in the sand and its arse in the air. It seems to suit them better somehow.

    (Blogger's bluggered, I see, so I can't log in that way; I'll try something else.)

  2. The bird sucks like dial-up but I would like to connect with his dizzy blonde sidekick. Or will a crass comment like this one only succeed in getting me broad-banned? Oh dear, the puns have started. It's time to go to bed.

  3. I don't know quite how the pit-lane girl ended up with another dozy bird...

    Puns are positively encouraged, puns whilst drinking doubly so.

    Ostrich internet, might just wor...no it wont.

  4. I think you're quite obviously jealous of Dodo. He's a celebrity who hangs out with impressionable young blondes who are - at least on one of the ads - naked. I have given in and will not force you to use myspace. instead I have come over to the dark side (which happens to look shitloads better). You were right. I guess it had to happen at some stage.