Heavy Plant

Walk past a "Heavy Plant" warning and wonder vaguely if the trees thought it was for them; if whoever put it up had enough imag...


inspiration/filthy brain

I have thankfully returned from my sojourn to the antipodes with a far clearer mind, a desire to write and some actual material! Unfortunately I have also returned without my girlfriend. this has caused my libido to corrupt my unconscious mind and I am experiencing some of the filthiest dreams I have ever had. Which is in a way great, but in another, far more accurate way, bloody awful. However it is enticing me to get the amount of sleep that doctors say you should actually have.

With this in mind I decided to gain extra readers by describing in thigh-squelching detail my adventures with the hot brazillian twin sisters and their whipped cream aerosol that my disgusting brain treated me to last night. You will be relieved to hear that I thought better of this the instant I realised that it was 9:30 and I hadn't left the house yet (yes I am still gainfully employed). Or maybe you won't. Perhaps you the kind of lonely pervert who spends hours typing things like "masturbating teen lesbians" into google. Perhaps I shouldn't have exposed the depth of my own depravity on such a public medium. Or perhaps its all just a hollow sham, a way of dropping in frequently searched for strings into open text as a way of fooling the bored and stupid into a page view. I hope it works!

Just to close off if anyone has a cure for ragingly filthy dreams that doesn't involve self-abuse, spending thousands on ladies of questionable virtue or otherwise being unfaithful, answers on a postcard. I'd just got rid of the calouses dammit.

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